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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?